Going Dark

A week ago I submitted my final assignment for my third-year of undergrad; and not a whole lot has changed. It was a strange year, feeling disconnected from peers and mentors as I dove head first in Music Direction with the glorious Rachael Rose and then hopping back to dance for two shorts weeks. Second Semester was a doozy - I had forgotten how physically challenging it can be to Stage Manage a full-scale musical production. It was ultimately very rewarding in that I learned a great deal about my own artistry and how I can adjust my processes to work better with others. I guess something has changed - I took some summer contracts and left my role at Starbucks! 

At the end of the semester my Production Management Course discussed in great detail the intricacies of Work-Life Balance or as some of us deemed it – Work-Life Boundaries. Within 24hrs of leaving Starbucks I found that my body was more relaxed and mentally I was looking for the next challenge, not to say I didn't need the break from 19 hour days opening at 5am and getting home from rehearsal at about 10:30 every night, but gosh what to do with all that free time?! Well a few things became very clear right away - I needed to sleep and I needed to take the break for what it was. 

This summer I'm excited to work with some faculty and accompanists as a Stage Manager for an original work titled Memories of a Supernatural AIDS Crisis written by Marc Arthur, which means a great deal to me as a Cis-Gay Man in a world of HIV; as well as working with Matt Daher on his music video shoot for Station Direct as a Lighting Designer!

A week ago I submitted my final assignment for my second-year of undergrad; a research paper which dove into the world of Dance Production and how the Univerisity differed from the professional experience. I discovered a lot about myself, the industry and my peers in produciton. I also learned something so deeply important to my continued studies at Wayne States - I am a Dance Stage Manager. I love theatre, music, concerts, and even corporate events... but the one thing which continues to draw my entire being into a process is Dance. From caring for the performers to know the show front to back even before opening - Dance Production is what calls me to come back time and time again. 

After a year and a half of feeling pigeon-holed into Dance at Wayne - because I was the only Stage Manager familiar with the area and its intricacies - I am beyond thankful for the nine dance productions I have completed, the friends I've made, and the faculty rolemodels who continue to push me and the program to be the best it can. 

Looking ahead - I am intrestested to see what I manage to get myself into next year. Starting as the Associate Music Director for Rocky Horror Picture Show, Stage Managing two back-to-back dance performances, and then closing the year as the Stage Manager for Amélie. It will be nice to spread my musical wings with Rocky, teach others Dance at Wayne and then close the Gateway Complex for the year with Amélie!

Two months into the semester, and all the reasons I left have come back no longer forgotten memories of the past. But they look different this time, now I can identify what inside me wanted to leave and what I need to do to preserve myself and the work I am doing. 

I have stepped in a new role as the Associate Artistic Director of the Underground Theatre Company here at Wayne State and it has felt like I'm just trying to keep my head up while waves the size of tsunami keep crashing down on me - and then I remember, you can only win the battles you see,  focus on those. So while the future must be planned, I try not to focus too much on it and fight the battles I can see.

As I push ahead into the month of March and prepare to travel to New York City and manage a show there I'm reminded of why I love performing arts - there is no definition of what art looks like. Decay Delay is an extistential analysis of the human urge to slow down life and death choreographed by BAIRA Movement & Beth Grazcyk to be performed at Center for Performance Research in New York City which will utilize haptics, biomaterials and movement to highlight the architecture of human life as it decays and we delay the decline. This will be my first show to travel, my first plane ride, and my first time in the Big Apple - daunting to say the least but I am so excited every moment I think about it.

After returning from New York (after Wayne State's Spring Break) there is only one week of classes before I dive head first into tech and production for three dance concerts spanning the month of April and into Finals at Wayne State. It will be a marathon to the end of the semester, but once I cross that finish line on May 2nd and look behind me I know I won't regret a thing.

It's the Friday before a new semester, new productions, and new opportunities at Wayne State for myself and all the other students returning for the Winter 2023 Semester and I cannot wait to see what is in store for the coming semester!

This past week I have spent time meeting with my new Area Heads for Stage Management, my Academic Advisor, and my Faculty Advisor partnering with me on my directed study in Dance Production! Each meeting was like a breath of fresh air and a glimpse into the changes the department has experience over the past semester – and especially within the past few weeks. Currently I plan to work on the four dance concerts the department is producing this semster as a Stage Manager and in conjunction with the directed study I am pursuing. 

You may be asking yourself "Okay, but what IS a directed study?" The TL;DR of it is that I am working directly with a faculty member on an individual basis to pursue something not offer in the course cataloge and is often hyper-specialized to what the student is looking for educationally. In my case I will be studying the Production Process for Dance Performance from every angle and assimilating this into a research project to bring back into the department adjusted for an educational setting to reform and reinvigorate the experience students in our department recieve in production practicum. 

The four concerts I will be working on are especially exciting to me as they will featuring guest artists, student works, faculty collaborations, and experimental work. In order of performance they are Dance Capstone 2023, To Sangana, Dance Workshop, and Spring Dance 2023 – which will be the first dance concert produced in the new Hilberry Gateway Theatre on "the STAGE."

You can expect to see more posts and updates of the highs and lows of the semester as I delve deeper into my education and profession as a Stage Manager, hoping to focus on Dance in my career!

Hi Again! It's me!

I am returning to Wayne State as a full-time student in Stage Management yet again! I am excited to return and begin working with my peers again to produce fantastic art. I will be taking a full semester on the academic side of things but from a practicum stand-point I will be working to reform the pre-production process for Dance while working on the four dance concerts this semester! I am beyond excited to take these next steps as a student and stage manager!

The break I had mentioned before brought me much joy, but the joy that comes from co-creating and facilitating performance art is so much stronger.

Well Hi! Its been a while, not that anyone in particular reads these, but I figured it's about time I update my website to reflect my current professional life. I am no longer a student, and I no longer call myself a stage manager. If you read my previous posts you may recognize that I was a little burntout, and a little tired. 

After considering many options and talking with colleagues I decided to withdraw from Wayne State University at large and take some time to grow and reflect on the previous year. In the end I had completed 8 1/2 shows in 7 months (I only rehearsed with one, never made it to performance), and no one in their right mind can tell me that is healthy. I didn't quit, I still have a fire going but I was in desperate need of a pause. I am actually going back to Wayne to Assistant Stage Manage this years December Dance Concert, and I am beyond excited to reconnect with the dancers, colleagues and meet the new students at Wayne. 

All that is to say, it's okay to take a break, but if you still want to persue arts you can! You don't have to have a degree and you don't have to do it regularly, but stay in-the-know, stay connected, and when something comes up that fills your soul do it!

So sorry for rambeling, just wanted to put some thoughts on "paper"

As I crawl my way to the end of my First-Year Experience at Wayne State I have to wonder; will it get better? In the past seven months beginning in Spetember I have rehearsed, teched, opened and closed seven productions. Some with only a week together, some with six weeks of rehearsal time, some with two days of tech before being infront of an audience. I have filled many positions qualified for them and not - to list a few; COVID Compliance Officer, Board Programmer, Mentor, Lighting Designer, Marketing Lead, Graphic Designer and of course Stage Manager. And I really am not sure if Stage Management is where I want to go in the end. Not because I don't love the work or that I think I'm bad at the job; but because Stage Managers often are left out to dry in the end when they need support. Not for a lack of asking or offers from friends and family, but there is often no one on the Production (Outside of the SM Team) with an understanding of how the tasks are being completed. 

I found a passion for design and creating a visual story telling art alongside performers, and yes a stage manager facilitates all of this and collaborates in the process, but I found so much joy in actually creating as the lighting designer and making the most of a plot not designed for my show. I wasn't given an opportunity to hang or refocus lights, and I found so much freedom in that constraint. 

Hopefully next year (really in two weeks when rehearsals for my next production starts) I can find joy in the constraint of rules and protocols of Stage Management as well.

As I turned off the run-lights one last time with Fairview I realized that while it might be the last time I work with some students here at Wayne theres a very high probaility I run into them four years from now, a small world we work and live in. It has caused me to reflect on the nature of the industry to be able to exclude someone effectively from work because of a previous poor experience they had as colleauges. While this is sometimes beneficial for those involved and acts as almost a safe-guard against those who wish to hurt or devalue the art we produce, can it not also severly limit the capacities and abilities of an industry which claims to care for people greatly. 

I don't imagine this being something that changes rapidly - or maybe even before I retire - but it's simply something to reflect on and think about how this has impacted the work of so many individuals and the art we produce in the world.

Rehearsaing through yet another surge of the Coronavirus has most definetly been interesting. Starting on Zoom for two days,stopping rehearsal for a week, being cleared to rehearse in-person, daily COVID Rapid Tests, and N95 Masks are just the highlights. As anyone who has recieved a degree in arts can attest, colleges and universities tend to leave Theatre and Dance Departments to figure out their own rules and regulations because it is a far different environment than general education or any other undergraduate education with so much of it being practical and very little classroom experience outside of "lab" hours.

Fortunately Wayne State has allowed us to continue to rehearse in-person and we were able to push our show dates back two weeks to make up for lost time, the daily COVID testing has been handled quite well on-campus and allowed us to have some peace of mind walking into the rehearsal room. The biggest problem we've had since coming back this month is burnout, as a first-year I don't know if its the new semester, new year, winter weather, or show content but something is affecting each and every person on this show and it has presented many a challenges. Wether it being needing to push a deadline or general compassion for a situation my fellow stage managers and I have met each and every person where they are to help them through a hard time. The question I pose, is where to stage managers goes? We're all burnt out too, and with no one designated to help us, what comes next? I suppose therapy or councilling but its hard to find a therapist when it's all virtual it feels sterile, not like a place to express yourself. 

I have leaned on friends and my partner for support but that will run dry too when the feeling reaches them, I dont mean to pesamistic but Stage Managers have it seems been left to fend for themselves while they spend their time fighting to support and encourage everyone else. 

Finding my routine has helped a lot, and having a fantastic support system as always, I just can't wait to cross this mountain and see whats on the other side.

Over the past year (Well really two) I haven't been able to immerse into project with my whole spirit and body due to the COVID-19 Pandemic, much like every other artistic starting a blog this year and for the past year. I really lost my way academically, emotionally, and as an artist; and it hurts. Going back into theatre is always exciting but looking back on past projects and shows I really began to evaluate what it means to work with performers and to showcase their pieces. More specifically what it means to me.

I have never been one to shy away from a challenge or say I can't do something, even when it's my downfall. But I want to start saying "no," not because I can't do it but because I don't want too. If a show has no purpose or a shallow meaning, why dedicate myself to it when there are hundreds of new works and devised pieces that have real meaning and could truly bring change to an industry which is crying out for help from inside the house. 

I am the same person - I still value the art of every artist - but those that want to make changes and betterment to the place I love most and feel at home in, they are what matter. And that is where I will place my time and effort. 

So cheers to the New year, and a New Value of Art.